the otherwhirled

(AP Photo/Matt York) A border patrol agent subdues trainees during a training session at the Border Patrol Training Academy in Artesia, NM. “Things just started getting out of hand,” said Border Patrol Sergeant Hitsalot. “One of the trainees passed some gas, which I took as a direct assault on my authority, but the little [...]

(AP Photo/Anne McQuary) “Bring all your girlfriends to me so that they can become my Mormon wives!” Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney attempts to hypnotize a group of high-schoolers with his secret Satanic powers. Luckily, the curse back-fired, and Mr. Romney was temporarily turned into that turkey that stuck its head into President Bush’s [...]

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas) “Confusing everyone, Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani dresses as a woman dressing as a man for the White House Correspondents Association dinner this past weekend.”

(AP Photo/Gary Malerba) “John Edwards smiles pretty and says “ya’ll” a lot in an attempt to convince southern voters that he’s still real, and actually has a chance in hell against Obama and Clinton.”

(Kevin Lamarque/Reuters) “….then maybe we kin score us some island prop’rty, too!” Added the destroyer of the free world, “Ah dunno if Ah lahk me no sushi, ya’ll.”

(AP Photo/Susan Walsh) “Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez attempts to distract reporters before running back to his office and hiding under his desk after what was, to everyone but President Bush, a disastrous testimony before Congress last week.” The Attorney General claims he will continue to serve at his post “as long as I can [...]