the otherwhirled

“President Bush was visited today by Monica Lewinski, who is now a registered Independent. ‘It’s only fair,’ said Ms. Lewinski. ‘I made a promise to myself that if President Bush made it to a second term, then he’d get the same treatment as President Clinton. And it wasn’t all that bad, anyway. See? No [...]

“King George the Worst and Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi share a private joke together on the way to the G8 summit. It was unclear whether George understood the joke or not, but he at least had the grace to act like he did.” CAPTION CONTEST: Complete the punch-line in the title for a [...]

“Thanks to an over-long ceremony and a botched job of stocking the bar in Air Force One, the First Lady recovered from her normal catatonia long enough to replace a contact lens today.” photo credit: AP Photo/Markus Schreiber

“Now, look ‘ere, Mate. I’m a peaceful man, and all that, but if the bastard puts his arm around me one more time, I’m gonna rip it off and beat him to death with it. And if I have to take another picture with the bloody monkey, I’m gonna beat YOU to death with [...]

“Harbour officials closed the entire Wismar port today, fearful of the environmental hazard which might be caused by Laura Bush and all her makeup falling into the water. When asked about the increased security, Mrs. Bush seemed to ponder the question for a moment, then responded, ‘I like boats! Are you a seaman? I [...]

There is no justice in the world. Need we even guess what this mysterious “medical condition” is? Feel free to conjecture-ize in the comments. Myself, I can’t decide between “acute psychosomatic hyperventilation” and “torn anus”. photo credit: AFP/File

“Seven nuns from the Salesian Sister of Mary Immaculate Province were not excommunicated today when the Pope found out they praying and cheering for members of the San Antonio Spurs. In a brief statement, the Pope did not declare, ‘We’ll have nun of that, sisters!’” photo credit: AP Photo/Eric Gay