the otherwhirled

Thank you.

I was recently reminded of an important anniversary: that of the birthday of an anonymous friend whom we will refer to as “Krystal“, because that’s her name. I will tactfully refrain from revealing the extraordinary number of years which Krystal has been alive, but it’s only like 4 or 5 (or is it 6?) if you group it into decades. See Krys, you ain’t old at all!

At any rate, I wanted to be sure to do something nice for Krystal on her massively-ancient fortieth birthday, because she wasn’t too bad of a neighbor when we were growing up ever so long ago. And since she’s practically older than god and we’ve been apart for so long, I thought I’d do something really “nice” for her. Yes, even though she refused to come see me when I visited San Antonio earlier this year (claiming a “missionary trip”, as if her husband can only lay face-down and moan somewhere in the US).

So, I would like to ask all my readers if they would please stop whatever they’re doing at precisely 9:00 p.m. Eastern tonight and burst out in a spontaneous birthday song in honor of Krystal, the agèd friend of Commander Other. This will be especially exciting if you’re on a crowded bus or airplane, so make sure you sing it off-key in the loudest voice you can muster.

Happy Birthday, Krystal, and may you continue to feel only as old as your children cause you to feel! So, make a wish and blow, Krys!