New Analog Voting Machine

(AFP/DDP/File/Sebastian Willnow)

photo credit: AFP/DDP/File/Sebastian Willnow
“Diebold announced today the release of a new analog voting machine sure to be popular with male voters. Voters who wish to vote for a Democratic candidate simply urinate, then flush once for Senator Obama or twice for Senator Clinton. Those wishing to vote Republican urinate while slowly stroking their penis, tapping their right foot three times, and simultaneously call in a refill request on their Viagra prescription while booking a flight for the Dominican Republic. Republican voters need neither flush no wash their hands.”


4 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. 1

    Now that is a hangin’ chad if I ever saw one!

  2. 2

    Dang I voted three times today already.

    (How the heck are they going to handle absentee ballots?)

  3. 3

    “I think she’s gonna make it. If she can reach the chandelier before it wears off…”

  4. distributorcap

    4

    what if you are at a flushless urinal

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