the otherwhirled

photo credit: Brooks Kraft / Corbis for TIME “Vote fer meh, or mah pimp here’ll kick yer goddamn ass!”

photo credit: Brooks Kraft / Corbis for TIME “Yeh know, Gwen. If he even so much as tries for Hispanic votes, Ah’m gonna break him over mah knee like a toothpick.”

photo credit: Brooks Kraft / Corbis for TIME “Respec’ Mah Authoritay, old man! Repeat after me! ‘Ah’m gonna vote fer Huckabee!’ Say it! Say it!!!!”

photo credit: Brooks Kraft / Corbis for TIME “Now, lookit, ya’ll. Ah’m completely drunk off mah ass, but Ah kin guarantee ya’ll that Huck here be thah Total Shit 2000™. An’ fer jist minutes a day, he’s great fer yer abs, too!”